A Cordoba, The Snowman’s Semi, and a Cherry Bomb: The Car Inspections of the Alabama 24 Hours of LeMons

Here we are in Alabama, for the 24 Hours of LeMons' first visit to Barber Motorsports Park, and this super-luxe track seems in real danger of having its property values destroyed forever by the collection of heaps and hoopties we've dragged onto the premises. We saw quite a few quick-looking (i.e., boring) Integras and Miatas, but some stunning instant LeMons Legends of the first water also made the scene. Let's see what we'll have starting tomorrow when the racin' begins.

In honor of one of Alabama's greatest bands, we created a special race-specific commemorative BRIBED stencil for teams that were kind enough to offer gifts to persuade the 24 Hours of LeMons Supreme Court to, you know, keep it fair.

In their never-ending quest to get their not-exactly-stock Eagle Talon into Class C, this team went for a well-executed Runaways "Cherry Bomb" theme. OK, so Joan Jett probably wouldn't be very impressed by the distressing wholesomeness here, but this isn't 1976 Los Angeles.

Since this is Alabama, we were counting on some team to make reference to the final play of the 2014 Iron Bowl game. Sure enough, this Kia Sephia team (with alumni from both Alabama and Auburn on the roster) came through.

Incomprehensibility made its usual appearance. We don't know what's going on here, and neither did this team.

Sasha the Crazy Russian and the rest of Sputnik Racing somehow managed to take possession of the NSF Racing 1972 Plymouth Fury, and Sasha dressed up for the occasion as a Euromaidan protester.

This Fury didn't manage to turn many laps at the LeMons Fall South 2013 race in South Carolina, but we have high hopes for this 318-powered rust monster this time out.

Battling the Fury for the coveted Class C prize, however, is a car we've been waiting for years to see in LeMons: a 1975 Chrysler Cordoba, campaigned by those Chevette Diesel-racing heroes of Zero Budget racing.

The budget-priced Cordoba came with a zip-tie-affixed Dodge Ram 50 grille instead of the factory, Ricardo Montalban-approved piece, so Zero Budget fabricated this superior custom grille.

Unless you've been following LeMons with a disturbing level of obsession for the last seven years, you can't understand what the sight of a Cordoba in our race means to us. We hear the Fury-versus-Cordoba betting is reaching absurd levels right about now, so we'll keep you updated as these Mopar behemoths do battle.

We thought it would be impossible to top the Cordoba and the Fury, but then the Knoxvegas Lowballers rolled up in this. You're looking at a Geo Metro with rear-mounted Ford Duratec V6 out of a Contour SVT. No, really!

With an engine swap that stupid brilliant, the Lowballers didn't need to knock everyone out with such an incredible theme job… but serious LeMons racers know you can't rest on your laurels if you want to reach the top tier of LeMons Legends. We'd thought that Smokey and the Bandit themes had been Done To Death in this series, but that's just because all the other examples followed the same Screaming-Chicken-decal-on-BMW-hood template.

Yeah, the Knoxvegas Lowballers have now catapulted themselves into the big leagues. On paper, the Duratec Metro Freightliner (or whatever you call it) should be quite fast, with its light weight and 200-horse V6. Perhaps it will dominate the race this weekend!

Meanwhile, we've got three former race-winners among the 80 or so teams gearing up for the weekend's competition: the Ziegel Scheißhaus Mercedes-Benz 190E, the Ghetto Motorsports Mazda RX-7, and the Hong Norrth Mazda MX-3. Hong Norrth, by virtue of their many previous wins, is the favorite, but those who can tear themselves away from the Cordoba-versus-Fury race long enough to focus on the fight for the overall win will have a lot to debate about when it comes to discussing the pros and cons of these three top contenders.

In Class B, we've got a right-hand-drive versus left-hand-drive Subaru Legacy Outback matchup for the ages.

Be sure to check in Saturday night to see what happens during the first race session here at Barber.

Better still, come by the track! You can check out the amazing Barber Vintage Motorsports Museum while you're here.

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2015 BMW Mercedes-Benz V-class: Just Like Any Other People Mover, Except It’s a Benz

Minivans aren't hip. They're not cool. So square are the once-dominant force in family haulers that few automakers even sell one anymore, opting instead for SUV-mimicking crossovers—our vote for the next automotive trend to be uncool. Mercedes-Benz saw this coming in 2005, and duly came to market with the not-quite-a-minivan R-class, which was subsequently thought of as a minivan and left to rot at Mercedes dealerships nationwide before being pulled from our market in 2012. Now Mercedes is introducing the V-class: another not-quite-a-minivan that follows a different approach. READ MORE ››

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Suck It, Polar Vortex: 9 Vehicles Guaranteed to Get You Through Any Snowpocalypse

Thanks to the polar vortex—or more accurately, vortices—this winter is the harshest that many parts of the country have seen in decades. As icy doom continues to close schools and turn roadways into skating rinks, it's only natural that talk in the C/D office turned to the ultimate vehicles to get us through this modern Ice Age. Here are our top picks:

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1. Tracked Model T

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In the early 20th century, most rural mail carriers relied on horses and sleds for mail delivery, but a few enterprising folks came up with kits to convert automobiles for snow duty. Given the rugged nature (they still use Model T pickups for general maintenance on the grounds of the Henry Ford Museum and Greenfield Village) and ubiquity of the Ford Model T, it was only natural that the majority of the professionally manufactured kits would be aimed at Ford's legendary T. It may be crude, but its bag-of-hammers simplicity will come in handy when the only tools you have to perform a repair are a pair of vice grips, a reel of baling wire, and the wisdom of the Inuit.

2. Vintage Bombardier Snow Coach

http://www.nathab.com

Even if you hate winter, you still have to love the retro-modern look of the Bombardier Snow Coach. Originally diesel-powered and used in Canada's most unforgiving polar terrain, a handful of these track-driven coaches have been updated and adopted for use in and around Yellowstone Park. Roll into town during a blizzard—to get a Blizzard, maybe—in one of these babies and locals will be positively convinced the snow-Martians have landed. But they'll probably still ask for a ride.

3. Volkswagen Touareg Tracked "Snowareg"

Take an already capable snow vehicle—VW uses Touaregs as rescue and recovery vehicles at its winter driving facility in Sweden—and outfit it with tracks, and your ready to ride out the Snowpocalypse in leather-lined comfort. Protip: Don't forget the Grizzly Bear CDs, bearskin rug, and peppermint schnapps for midnight rendezvous with snow bunnies while waiting for the sun to return.

4. Thiokol Spryte Snowcat

http://twentywheels.com

Many companies have manufactured snowcat-type vehicles over the years, but the Thiokol Spryte is the one that Shelley Duvall used to escape the fictitious Overlook Hotel in the movie adaptation of Steven King's "The Shining." For that reason alone the Spryte is our snowcat of choice. Adding to the Spryte's notoriety is the fact that the Thiokol Corporation at one point sold the Snowcat division to none other than John Z. DeLorean, a man who knew a thing or two about mounds of white stuff.

5. Ken Block's Insane Ford F-150 SVT RaptorTRAX

There's not much to say here beyond what we've already stated in previous coverage: As tracked vehicles go, this is the top dawg on our list for performance, but sneak attacks are out of the question.

6. The Fordson Snow Motor Tractor

Why bother with tracks or tires when you can simply use a dead-nuts reliable screw drive? Not only will you be a hit with the steampunk crowd, you can julienne a helluva salad with the giant, auger-like torpedoes it rides on. Just make sure to keep your extremities free of the working bits—bloody stumps are totally out this year.

7. Snowmobile

http://ift.tt/1gz39lm

Duh, they call them "snowmobiles" for a reason. (OK, some call them "snow machines," but you get the point.) Many brands are available, but you can't go wrong with Ski-Doo's Expedition SE. With a hearty 1200-cc 4-stroke under the hood and room for a passenger and some survival gear, you have plenty to smile about as you blast past miles of stuck and abandoned cars on the highway. Suckers!

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• Diesel SUV Comparo: Touareg vs. ML350, Cayenne, X5, and Grand Cherokee
• Model S vs. Model T Detroit-to-NY Enduro: Which Pioneer Reigns Supreme?
• Winter Driving Guide: Tips to Survive the Snow and Ice

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8. Side-by-Side UTV with Studded Tires

We haven't exactly tried it, but both of our tests of with side-by-sides in the mud lead us to believe that a side-by-side sporting massive studs on its tires might be just the ticket for navigating the frozen byways of our new permafrost reality. Just don't forget to double up on the thermals and ammo.

9. De Havilland Beaver

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When travel by land fails, take to the air. Sky jockeys have been outfitting the storied single-engine Beaver with skis for decades, landing them in the coldest places on earth. If that isn't enough of a recommendation, consider that the Royal Canadian Mounted Police use them for patrol, although it's not clear if the Mountie or the horse flies the plane. Regardless, as a dependable aircraft with a long and storied history and quirky appeal, it offers one advantage that trumps the rest: You can fly the hell out of the Snow Belt, put 'er down in Key West, and run up one mother of a bar tab.

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2014 Dodge Journey Crossroad: When Life Is at a Crossroad, Get an Appearance Package [2014 Chicago Auto Show]

Believe it or not, but following its thorough—and, we think, effective—Journey refresh for 2011, Dodge reports the crossover racked up the highest sales of its life last year. Still, for buyers looking for tough SUV looks, the wagon-like Journey can leave a bit to be desired, so Dodge is rolling out a new Crossroad trim level for 2014 that ups the rig's visual ante. The manlier Journey is making its in-the-metal debut at the Chicago auto show next week, a fitting venue given the Crossroad's all-weather-ready appearance and our nation's near-perpetual state of snowpocalypse-ness.

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Crossroad models are set apart by new front and rear fascias with platinum chrome accents and a gloss-black-colored grille and fog lamp nacelles; black 19-inch wheels; and black headlight and taillight surrounds. We like the way the lower parts of the bumpers and the rocker panels are rendered in black plastic, and combined with the other dark-colored trim, makes for a pretty sweet-looking Journey almost regardless of which paint color is chosen. (Buyers will be able to select from Pitch Black, Bright Silver, White, Copperhead Pearl, Fathom Blue Pearl, Granite Crystal, Pearl White, and Redline Red.) Oh, and there's a "Crossroad" badge on the Journey's butt.

The cabin has been spruced up, as well, with standard leather seats with mesh inserts and contrasting Slate Gray stitching; the same thread holds together the stuff wrapping the steering wheel, shift knob, center armrest, and door panels. A sort-of matching Liquid Graphite–colored gloss finish is applied to the dashboard, center console, and door trim, and overall the dark-on-dark theme looks pretty darn attractive. Positioned between the mid-level SXT and top-shelf Limited trim levels, the Crossroad backs up its handsome innards with a boatload of standard content, including Chrysler's 8.4-inch Uconnect touch-screen infotainment display; power driver's seat; proximity key with push-button starting; and power-heated and folding side mirrors.

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• Instrumented Test: 2013 Dodge Journey V-6 AWD
• Instrumented Test: 2014 Dodge Durango AWD V-6
• First Drive: 2014 SRT Viper TA

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Unfortunately, the Journey Crossroad doesn't come standard with Chrysler's powerful 3.6-liter Pentastar V-6; the 283-hp mill is optional, as is all-wheel drive. The standard engine is a 173-hp 2.4-liter four that's hitched up to an ancient four-speed automatic to power the front wheels. We understand this likely helps keep the base price down to a manageable $25,990, but we say spring for the V-6 (and its modern six-speed auto) and all-wheel drive to back up the Crossroad's visuals with some dynamic oomph. Still don't think the Journey looks tough enough, even in Crossroad trim? There's always the pricier and larger Durango with its base V-6, which also happens to match or exceed the V-6–powered Journey's fuel economy.

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The First Days of Turbocharged, Hybridized Formula 1: Phallic Noses and Breakdowns

In August of 2012, a man wearing a fake nose robbed a bank in St. Louis. Police managed to get an accurate description of the culprit, but according to authorities, this particular shenanigan isn't uncommon. The fake nose is supposed to draw the attention of witnesses, who presumably would have trouble identifying the rest of the face, so drawn they are to the fake nose. So, Formula 1 cars of 2014, what did you do with the money?

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So hideous are the new noses on most of the 2014 F1 entrants that they could, at least for a little while, distract your attention from the sound of their new 1.6-liter turbocharged V-6 engines. For a little while.

If there's an upside to these aesthetic monstrosities, it's that Formula 1 is perhaps the last remaining motorsport that allows, even embraces, the world of innovative nerds who have too much bandwidth, too much space on their hard drives, too much time in the wind tunnel, and too much education. Yet the responses from the brightest minds in automotive aerodynamics are variations on a nose design reminiscent of something from a masquerade ball. We half-suspect an engineer will tear off one of these phallic noses, revealing something more conventional-looking beneath.

But they're real. The Caterham CT05 and the Force India VJM07 have oddly rounded, uvula-like dangly things hanging between the crash structure and the front wing that are supposed to slow, then channel the wind, we're told, more effectively than a sharp edge. But the rounded, almost spear-like noses are coming under criticism for the sort of damage they might do if they collide with a competitor. And then there's Lotus's "twin nose," which looks like an open roach clip about to join the legal-pot party in Denver or Seattle during the Super Bowl broadcast.

Oh, right, those hybridized 1.6-liter turbo V-6s. Yes, of course, how could we forget? Many over the winter foretold of countless mechanical failures stemming from the new power units, a prophecy that—at the first test in Jerez, anyway—has been fulfilled.

Sebastian Vettel had significantly less to smile about once the portraits had been taken and the testing got underway.

Take four-time defending constructors' champion Red Bull for example. Four-time defending drivers' champion Sebastian Vettel logged just 11 laps in the first two days behind the wheel of the brand-new RB10 before turning over the car to new teammate Daniel Ricciardo for days three and four. Ricciardo managed just three laps on day three.

What's the problem? As is typical in the Formula 1 paddock, no one is disseminating pie charts detailing the dilemmas of their teams, but the buzz seems to center on problems with the Renault and its energy-recovery system. One theory is that the packaging is leading to overheating. Smoke—not billowing, but unwelcome and present nonetheless—seems to be a common accompaniment to Red Bull breakdowns. The switch to the new downsized and hybridized power units has been years in the making, so for the world champions to be caught with their pants down like this is stunning.

Some suggest that Red Bull waited too long to give the 2014 car its undivided attention. Chief designer Adrian Newey has been quoted as saying the team was still focused on last year's title-winning RB9 as of September, giving the team no more than four months to focus solely on the RB10 that will contest this year's championship. Others have put the blame on Renault, Red Bull's supplier of engines and energy-recovery units. Through two days of testing, Renault-supplied teams had completed just 38 laps, compared with 138 for Ferrari-backed teams and 248 laps for Mercedes-powered outfits.

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• First Drive: 2014 Porsche 918 Spyder
• Feature: Hyping Hypercars—2014 Ferrari LaFerrari vs. McLaren P1, Lamborghini Veneno
• Instrumented Test: 2014 Mercedes-Benz SLS AMG Black Series

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Ferrari's Kimi Räikkönen stood atop timesheets on the first day of testing from Jerez, while McLaren's Jenson Button and Kevin Magnussen took honors on the second and third days before rain set in today and slowed the pace significantly.

There's a two-and-a-half-week wait before the next test in Bahrain. It would be fascinating to monitor the sales of energy drinks around the various teams' shops as they frantically address concerns over design and/or power units. Except for Red Bull, of course, who has its own dedicated supplier, which is likely mainlining its goods into the arms of the team's designers and engineers as we speak.

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Beta Version of Apple’s iOS in the Car Demonstrated on YouTube

The first video of Apple's upcoming iOS in the Car has hit YouTube, which we found thanks to some sleuthing from the team at Jalopnik, and if we're to believe everything app developer Steven Troughton-Smith is doing with this beta version, automotive suppliers can breathe easy. From what we know so far, there's nothing iOS in the Car does that factory systems or existing tethered smartphone apps haven't already accomplished.

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When we saw the first screenshots in June, Apple made clear it wasn't building standalone software. It's simply another way to link an iPhone to an infotainment system, allowing Apple's slick interface design to display phone calls, texts, navigation, and music on a car's touch screen. Troughton-Smith says that while there is no keyboard and that navigation entries can only be entered by voice commands, iOS in the Car can support a vehicle's touchpad or physical buttons in addition to a touch screen. While the interface could change, it's deceptively simple in traditional Apple fashion.

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• Feature: The Race of the Centuries—2013 Tesla Model S vs. 1915 Ford Model T
• Comparison Test: Night-Vision Systems Compared from BMW, Mercedes, and Audi
• Feature: Driving In a Fake Swedish Town

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Here's one promising scenario: If iOS in the Car is meant to replace factory systems such as the MyLink interface in Chevrolet Sonic and Spark models, which run navigation off a smartphone app, it could boost connectivity in more low-priced cars. We don't yet know if iOS in the Car will use an in-car data connection or store data within the car itself. If all data is running through the connected iDevice, it could prove to be very taxing on users' limited data plans.

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