Longtime LeMons fans were pleased by the large number of amazing new race cars that debuted at the fifth annual Sears Pointless 24 Hours of LeMons, and the 167-entry field gave us some tense battles within the three race classes. When the dust settled on Sunday night, we had Porsche, Volkswagen, and Chevrolet (actually Isuzu, if you want to split hairs) in the class-winners' circle, and a proto-AMC product take the top prize. Let's see how those precious LeMons trophies were distributed.
Those of us who have been part of LeMons racing since the beginning spent many years believing that no Porsche would ever take a win on laps at one of our races. The 944 is quick, but it just can't take the LeMons brand of abuse. That is, until Porch Racing beat 179 competitors at the 2013 Arse Freeze-a-Palooza. It took 104 races for a Porsche to accomplish what teams running Corollas, Monte Carlos, and Saab 900s had done before… and now, just a few months later, Porch Racing has done it again!
The Porch Racing drivers never had any margin for error during the weekend; the lead swapped among a half-dozen teams for much of Saturday, and on Sunday the Sour Aviation Racing Mustang stayed glued to the rear bumper of the 944 all day long. In fact, the last few hours of the race had the Ford and the Porsche on the same lap, and that's how the whole thing ended. One hiccup by any of the Porch Racing drivers, one tiny mechanical glitch, and the trophy would have gone to Sour Aviation.
On Saturday, it appeared that the toughest LeMons team on the West Coast, Cerveza Racing, would be unbeatable. Their 1983 BMW 533i jumped out to a several-lap lead and was running flawlessly… right up until the moment when the engine lost compression on one cylinder. The Cerveza drivers kept racking up increasingly slower laps until the session ended, then borrowed a very tired spare engine from another E28 team and put in an all-nighter swapping it. On Sunday, Cerveza's lap times with the replacement engine were about five seconds down from Saturday's, and Porch Racing was right there to take advantage of this bit of luck for the competition.
In Class B, something we predicted would never— could never— happen went ahead and happened anyway: the Hella Shitty Racing Volkswagen Super Beetle (which features dual controls as well as a Subaru engine swap) somehow managed to win Class B in a LeMons race. This car had shown flashes of quickness in the past, but more often it had shown sustained explosions of horrific mechanical failure and frequent penalty-box visits. This time, the Hella Shitty drivers climbed up in the standings, reaching 13th overall by the end of the race and beating their closest class pursuer— the Super Troopers' 1978 Mercury Zephyr— by a single lap.
In Class C, we saw another team emerge from a history of breakdowns and face-against-brick-wall frustration to take home a coveted LeMons class-win trophy. The Pinewood Dirtbags and their 1976 Chevrolet Luv (equipped with GM V6 power) got P37 with their rebadged Isuzu Faster and beat the Billy Beer Ford Fairmont Futura for the Class C win by 11 laps.
Back in the early days of LeMons racing, teams that built innovative-yet-sketchy devices for their race cars received the Dangerous Banned Technology award. We discontinued the DBT award, for obvious reasons, but felt compelled to revive it when the Super Troopers rolled into the inspections with their extremely dangerous mustache ride see-saw.
With their highly accurate costumes and Malaise Era Zephyr, the Troopers deserved the Dangerous Banned Technology trophy for their Mustache Ride (which we promptly banned from the paddock after seeing it demonstrated).
Ever wondered how a depressingly stock 340,000-mile 2008 Toyota Prius would perform in an endurance race? Spank Worthington and his dog, Spot found this thoroughly worn-out hybrid for sale by a private-security company, caged it, and raced it. This car turned out to be agonizingly slow on the race track, turning lap times about 30 seconds slower than the top contenders, but it didn't break (other than some cooked brakes). It finished in P94, and earned the created-for-the-occasion Most Marin County Award.
The Spank Worthington team did a fine job decorating the Prius with custom-made bumper stickers.
In fact, the team ran two Priuses at this race; the other one was the Hell's Treehuggers Toyohog, which features a Harley-Davidson Sportster engine swap. Thanks to a loophole in the California emission-control laws, this car is completely legal to drive on the street in California!
For the Judges' Choice award, we brought Hella Shitty Racing back to the winners' circle to receive a second trophy. This three-car team unveiled Ferkel the Nein-11 at this race, and a rollover-victim 1983 911 with Volkswagen TDI turbo-diesel engine swap represents such a violation of everything good and true in the minds of both Porsche purists and Euro-diesel purists that the Judges' Choice trophy was yanked, magnet-style, right out of the LeMons Supreme Court justices' hands.
Granted, the Nein-11 didn't work quite as well as some had predicted; small, inaccessible TDI parts just kept breaking one after another, and the car managed a mere 158 tortoise-like laps and a P130 finish. Still, once the bugs are worked out, Ferkel may be as successful as its Subaru-ized Super Beetle stablemate.
The Most Heroic Fix award was bestowed upon Team Two Many Wheels, a bunch of motorcycle racers who bought a terribly battered Mazda Miata that had endured many LeMons races with a Volvo 245 body welded on. Two Many Wheels re-themed their car as the Frankenzia box-wine monster, then proceeded to blow up the engine, transmission, and clutch in short order on Saturday.
Even with all those setbacks, Two Many Wheels managed to fix all the broken stuff and get their box-wine-dispensing machine back on the track in time for the checkered flag.
Then there's the trophy that LeMons racers don't want to win: the I Got Screwed award. This time, the Cannonball Bandits and their 1979 Ford Mustang took home this "honor." The entire cruel drama started with a request from a high school journalist to drive a LeMons car as part of a story he wanted to write. The Cannonball Bandits agreed, and the kid stuffed the car into the wall on his very first lap. Screwed!
Photo courtesy of Head-On Photos
When your team cuts-and-pastes driveline and suspension parts from a Ford Mustang and a Ford Aerostar onto a 1964 International Harvester Scout and makes a road-racer out of the boxy little farm truck, we give you the Organizer's Choice award.
Well done, Troop 302 aka Directionally Challenged Racing!
For the top prize, the Index of Effluency, the 1961 Rambler Classic of Panting Polar Bear Racing just straight-up ran away with the trophy. This car which was purchased for $450, ran all weekend long without a single mechanical problem, finishing in P84 and beating a long list of much faster cars.
With just 78.5 horsepower (hence the car number) from its 196-cubic-inch I6, stock suspension, and a balky three-on-the-tree column shifter, the 53-year-old pink Rambler did what most 10-year-old LeMons cars can't manage. Congratulations, Panting Polar Bear Racing!
Be sure to check in here for all your LeMons race updates and news, and tune in to the official 24 Hours of LeMons race-wrapup videos.
from Car and Driver Blog http://ift.tt/nSHy27
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