Derek And Doug’s Fantastic Crap Wagons: Jeep Grand Wagoneer

Doug writes: I really like the Jeep Grand Wagoneer.  I think that's because I like all boxy SUVs, which is why I've owned most of them.  I have never, however, owned a Grand Wagoneer. One look at the local used car market tells you precisely why that is: they're expensive.  For instance:  This 1984 Grand Wagoneer is actually pretty damn cool.  Mileage is unlisted (mileage is never listed) but I think we can all agree mileage doesn't really matter.  That's because it's lifted, gorgeous, and owned by someone who clearly cares about it, but possibly cannot read an odometer.  The problem: it's nearly $7,000 for a 30-year-old SUV with 160 horsepower and an engine described as leaking "some oil at the rear main seal." Forget the lifted one.  I actually prefer this 1989 example, partially because it appears to be owned by the kind of old money people who really should be driving Grand Wagoneers. (Pro tip: if you're going to sell a used car on Craigslist, do not photograph it on the grounds of your estate.) The owner is asking $5,850.  It's got cold air conditioning, a rebuilt engine, and recent tires and brakes.  Unfortunately, mileage is also unlisted.  If you actually visit the listing you'll note it says "CONDITION, SHOWING 78,000 MILES," but that's meaningless since the Grand Wagoneer has a five-digit odometer.  Could be 178,000.  Could be 278,000.  Could be 4,378,000, which would probably be described by an ever-optimistic Craigslist seller as "all highway." Unfortunately, I still can't wrap my head around spending six grand for a 25-year-old SUV that has its roots in the '60s and was sold in the Middle East as the Jeep Ahoo.  Even if it has really thin D-pillars. Derek writes: Like any Member of the Tribe worth his Polo shirt, I have Ralphie Lifschitz-esque desire to be a WASP. Unfortunately, I look ridiculous in Nantucket Reds and every time I view the family dinner scene in "Annie Hall", it reminds me far too much of having dinner with my ex-girlfriend's family. I haven't given up on the four-wheeled essence of preppy cool, the Jeep Grand Wagoneer. There is something timeless about these cars that goes beyond the wood paneling, though it's taken a couple decades for them to be appreciated by the broader car community (though, based on other posts on TTAC, plenty of the B&B have a strong affinity for them). Doug is lucky that the Southern climate is conducive to preserving these cars. In my entire province, there are only three examples and they're all varying degrees of everything I don't want. At one end, we have a $12,000 off-road special with a lift kit and other parts that I'm totally ignorant about. All I know is that $12k is roughly a third of the way to a gorgeous Wagonmasters car. Might as well buy the best or go home. There's also another example for $3,800, again with off-road gear but no wood trim. At least the mileage is low (under 60k miles). For the enterprising mechanic, there's a field car too. I am not that guy.   from The Truth About Cars http://www.thetruthaboutcars.com

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