I come to not to bury the W-body Impala, but to praise it. With the NYIAS introduction of its replacement, we can now legitimately call Chevrolet's pocket battleship of a full-sizer the "old model", although if we are speaking truthfully, it virtually qualified as the "old Impala" when it was introduced thirteen years ago. At the time, it seemed like more woeful evidence of General Motors' ineptitude, a quick mash-up of a Lumina with powerplants so ancient there are probably cave paintings somewhere in Altamira documenting an early TSB campaign for them, complete with pictograms of how to use a wooly mammoth to power an engine hoist. The new-for-2000 styling, best described as "anonymous middle-aged Georgia white trash", didn't promise much, and the interior, best described as "Malaise left in the dryer to shrink", couldn't even deliver on those meager hopes. The reviewers of the day pounced on the newborn Impala the same way African lions did. It was an also-ran from the start, hobbled out of the gate, destined to suffer through a typically Methuselan and pathetic GM product lifecycle before gracelessly retiring to second-tier salvage yards across the country. Naturally, there would be some sort of horribly embarrassing facelift halfway through to point out just how obsolescent the car was. There was even a minor possibility that the Impala would somehow "pull a Fiero" and become decent, mildly desirable transportation right before the order came down to cancel production. Regardless, the story was bound to be tragic at best, tragicomic at worst. A funny thing happened along the way, though: the Impala started to find things. First it found a place. Next, it found character. Finally, and not everyone will agree, it found redemption.
I was there at the Detroit Auto Show when the 2000 Impala made its debut. Not as a journalist, of course; I was merely a former car salesman with the vestigial tail of professional interest in volume-market sedans. It was mounted on a vertical display within sight of the also new-for-2000 Pontiac Bonneville. I naturally, and wrongly, assumed that they were platform twins because they shared numerous detail touches, including horribly outmoded-looking recessed headlamps. From the front, the car had an odd mixture of aggression and pathos about it. Compared to the Impala that had gone before, the Orca-esque B-body Impala SS, this looked like… nothing in particular. The interior wasn't anything to write home about, either: the plastics were typical GM and for those of us who were used to European seating positions the front bench seemed deliberately uncomfortable. Only the tail had any merit: Chevrolet had finally returned circular taillamps to the lineup. Naturally, GM's inability to do anything right meant that these evocative, jet-exhaust-esque details were submerged within a sea of low-grade semi-transparent plastic that would likely cloud over before the warranty, which wouldn't cover said clouding, expired. The Impala appeared to be some sort of generic full-sized car, except it wasn't truly full-sized, not at two hundred inches stem to stern, not when Ford had just revamped the Crown Victoria yet again, not when the Chrysler LH cars made it look weak, timid, and — yes! — small. Worse yet, in the engine bay, where the Ford had the controversial but still inarguably American mod-motor V-8 and the Intrepid offered an ultra-modern, import-humiliating 24-valve V-6, GM couldn't be bothered to install anything better than the old "3800″. Blech. Did you know anybody who bought a new 2000-2005 Impala? I certainly never knew, or even met, anyone who did. Yet the Impalas multiplied on the Midwestern streets, fleet beige strippers and frustrated-dad Supercharged SS models in chintzy gloss black. They became company cars, inner-city cop cars, second-choice taxis. They were never a car that anyone seemed to want, but yet people ended up driving them, riding in them, owning them. They were all around, wedge-shaped cockroaches in the American cupboard. Looking out the window of my generic corporate office here in Dublin, Ohio, I can see three Impalas of that generation in the parking lot. Silver, silver, dark blue. They're at least eight years old now, but they still look clean, decent, and unrusted. Isn't that also like a cockroach? Durability regardless of aesthetic appeal? It turns out that the General's glacial efforts had finally refined the old GM10 into something that would last, particularly if the original owner had ponied-up for the 3800 engine. The trim didn't fall off. The interiors turned nasty and grimy, but everything still worked. Impalas started to earn respect, back there in the middle of the Noughties. Of course, GM itself couldn't be bothered to respect the Impala. The facelift, when it came, was an absolutely shameless rip-off of the then-current Honda Accord, from the Chinese-eye pyramid headlights and timid, rounded nose to the triangle tails that appeared simultaneously on the Accord facelift. Surely only the General could be stupid enough to copy a car that was already halfway through a four-year lifecycle! At least the Kia Amanti's designers had had the sense to copy a long-lived Mercedes-Benz! It was as if the people at Chevrolet wanted, needed you to lose faith. They were like addicts showing up at a family party and puking all over the grandmother, hoping that Poppa Government would step in and give them the help they secretly needed. Yet there was a ray of light! This time, the Impala had a small-block-Chevy! Finally! A Chevrolet with a Chevrolet engine! It was enough to bring tears to everyone's eyes. Nor was the resulting car an abomination before the Lord, as one might have feared. The Impala SS was a really interesting car, and if it wasn't really any faster than a V-6 Camry, so freakin' what? The interior kept getting nicer. The 3800 variants continued to impress, and now even the base engine appeared to be something besides a boat anchor. The new styling may have been derivative, but in an era where the Japanese and Korean competition increasingly resembled the nightmare creatures of a deep-sea diving expedition, strangely proportioned and writhing to and fro with low-budget interpretations of flame surfacing designed to work in the transplant-factory stamping presses, the Impala started to have class. It looked restrained. Tasteful. Decent As the not-so-big Chevy reached the decade mark in production, a lot of people had heard about its virtues. One of them, oddly enough, was fuel mileage. In real-world situations, the torquey, low-revving 3800 and its 3.9-liter successor seemed to be able to match the four-cylinder foreign-brand competition. Forget the VolvoFords and DaimlerChryslers; they weren't even close. Fleets which had originally purchased Impalas because they were cheap to buy were now taking a second round of them because they were cheap to own. This wouldn't be a General Motors story if the company didn't get the car correct in the eleventh hour, and so it happened here. In the final year of production, the much-vaunted High-Feature V-6 finally arrived in perfected form, twisting out 303 horsepower in the final Impalas and returning economy that may not match the old 3800 but isn't bad in its own right. This was the Impala in its final days: Tasteful. Utilitarian. Spacious. Efficient. Affordable. Powerful. Reliable. Doesn't that sound like what most Americans want in a sedan? Of course it does, which is why the wunderkind Malibu, with its pug nose, wacky interior, middling fuel efficiency, and miserly trunk space, struggled until the very end to match its sales numbers. The Impala wasn't a very good full-sized car. It wasn't a very good prestige car. It certainly wasn't a very good cop car or taxicab. What it ended up being was simply this: a good family car. Chevrolet could have taken some lessons from that. Instead, the brain trust at GM has decided, once again, to demonstrate its complete ignorance of the market and to simply copy the class leaders. The 2006 Impala aped the Accord, but the new one is virtually a note-for-note homage to the departing Hyundai Azera. Riddled with Chinese lowest-bidder electronics and parts constructed in haste by suppliers who were recently pulled from the brink of extinction by the loving hands of the federal government, it probably won't be as reliable as the old car. It doesn't look like it has as much room for people or cargo as its predecessor. It will cost more, both to buy and to repair. The SBC won't reappear, but there is a SYNC-alike touchscreen that rises precariously out of a soft-touched dashboard to wobble in the wind as you distractedly poke at it. The peregrination necessary to reach the General Motors display at the NYIAS wasn't long enough to erase memories of the brand-new Toyota Avalon, which along with the new Azera renders this Impala the third-tier choice, outclassed before it even reaches the dealership. The good news is that you can't buy the new Impala yet. You can only buy the old one. Anyone who chooses to do so will find little cause, I think, to regret that decision. It may no longer be welcome at the auto show, but the last Impalas will find a home on the American highway for many years to come. from The Truth About Cars http://www.thetruthaboutcars.com | |||
| |||
| |||
|
Tuesday, April 10, 2012
Avoidable Contact: The Love Song Of W. Chevrolet Impala.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
Archive
-
▼
2012
(7297)
-
▼
April
(760)
- Ford Focus ST Priced At $23,700
- 2013 Ford F-150 Spy Photos: A Mild Cosmetic Update...
- 41-mpg Dodge Dart Aero: Same Great Taste, Less Fil...
- Volkswagen Golf/Jetta CC Not Destined for U.S.
- 2012 Audi A8L W12 Instrumented Test: 0 to 60 mph i...
- Name That Shifter, No. 74
- This Is The Analysis Of The Video That Jalopnik Al...
- 2013 Ford Focus ST Wagon Spied; Still Not Coming Here
- 2013 Acura ILX vs. 2012 Honda Civic: Which Would Y...
- VW Polo R Line Adds Show Without the Go
- 2012 Mitsubishi i-MiEV: Car Seat Check
- Toyota RAV4 EV to Debut May 7
- 2013 Ford Shelby GT500 Crowned World's Most Powerf...
- Daily News Briefs: April 30, 2012
- Next-Gen Toyota Prius Targeted For Stateside Produ...
- There’s a “Huracan” Coming To Your “Urus”
- Cars.com Buzz Index: April 2012
- Morgan 3 Wheeler Being Offered To Eccentric Americ...
- This Weekend’s World Challenge Event Shows What’s ...
- Piston Slap: Crystal Ballin’ the Bling-Free Altima!
- Dodge Dart Gets “Aero” Package To Break 40 MPG
- Junkyard Find: 1990 Ford Escort Pony
- BMW May Takeover Nedcar Plant
- Should the EPA Have Changed the BMW 328's Mileage?
- Trackday Diaries: Two wheels good, four wheels pro...
- At Forbes, Gordon Chang Lacks Adult Supervision
- Gleanings Of The 2010 Beijing Auto Show: Breasts D...
- Review: BMW 335i 6MT Sport Line
- GM And Isuzu Want To Rekindle Old Tie-Up
- What Went Wrong For Peugeot In India?
- GM and Isuzu In Bed Again?
- Hammer Time Rewind: The Seven Deadly Sins
- Most-Read Car Reviews of the Week
- Junkyard Find: Toasty 1965 BMW 700
- Car Collector’s Corner: 1962 Mercury Monterey 4 Do...
- Ed And BS Meet For Cars And Coffee
- Kicking Around The Fisker Football
- This Week's Most-Read Stories
- Mitusbishi Mirage: Yes For Canada, Maybe For America
- Most-Watched Video Reviews of the Week
- Best Selling Cars Around The Globe: Discover Some ...
- 2013 Dodge Dart First Drive: Fiat and Chrysler’s F...
- Cars.com Reviews the 2013 Dodge Dart
- Dodge Dart Aero to Get at Least 41 MPG Highway
- Italian Masterpieces on Display at L.A.’s Petersen...
- Why Torontonians Love The Smart Fortwo
- 2013 Scion FR-S Video
- Capsule Review: Aston Martin V8 Vantage
- Ferrari Plans Hybrid Powertrain
- Biden: “Osama bin Laden Is Dead And General Motors...
- Mercedes Opens First AMG-Only Dealership in Beijing
- Mazda Gives Us Another 1,000 Chances To Buy A Rota...
- Daily News Briefs: April 27, 2012
- Massage-Off: Jag, Mercedes, and Audi Seat Massager...
- Setting Music To Marques
- This Aggression Will Not Stand, Man: Portland Decl...
- Junkyard Find: 1992 Geo Prizm
- For Honda, Next Accord Must be a Hit
- Junkyard Find: 1992 Geo Prizm
- Which Cars Fit Three Car Seats?
- Gleanings Of The 2012 Beijing Auto Show: Seat Intr...
- Confirmed: 2013 Ford Mustang Shelby GT500 Rated at...
- Gleanings Of The 2012 Beijing Auto Show: Car Blogg...
- Go-To Car Music Keep Families in Harmony
- Gleanings Of The 2012 Beijing Auto Show: Toyota Op...
- Coda Withdraws DOE Loan Request Worth $334 Million
- 2012 Audi A1 Sportback First Drive: Two More Doors...
- Lamborghini’s Latest Trademark Application: “Huracán”
- 2013 Shelby GT500; 662 Horsepower, 200 MPH. WHY???
- China Gets Its Dual Clutches From The Borg
- The Acura NSX Concept Gets Painted Proper Sports-C...
- Gleanings Of The 2012 Beijing Auto Show: Victimize...
- Aston Martin Will End Current DBS Production with ...
- What's the Most Affordable Compact Crossover?
- MG’s Icon Concept Unveiled in China [Beijing Auto ...
- 2013 Toyota Land Cruiser: Car Seat Check
- Vellum Venom Vignette: 1991 Toyota Camry (emblem)
- 2013 Aston Martin DBS Spied: 550 hp and One-77 Looks
- Toyota Prices Limited-Edition Tacoma TRD T/X Baja ...
- Is Status For The Smart Or Stupid?
- 2012 Ford Focus Electric to Serve as NASCAR’s Firs...
- Daily News Briefs: April 26, 2012
- 2013 Audi Q5: First Look
- BRB Driving Police Cars
- Time Machine Dilemma: It’s 1973 and You Have Enoug...
- Chevrolet Orlando Finally Becomes Top Small Miniva...
- 2012 Buick Regal GS Automatic Tested: That’s Right...
- Automated-Vehicle Cheat Codes: How to Get the Most...
- Cars.com's 2012 Mock Draft: Top Car Prospects
- Junkyard Find: 1981 Toyota Corolla Liftback Coupe
- Cars.com Reviews the 2012 Volvo XC60
- New NHTSA Website Helps Parents Choose Right Seat
- Toyota Dear Qin Sedan and Hatchback: Don’t You Wan...
- Toyota Yundong Shuangqing Concept: What’s Happenin...
- In Hot Pursuit of Cold Milk: A Look at the New Ind...
- The Continental: Nine-Speeds Are Coming, Legalizin...
- 2013 Bugatti Veyron 16.4 Grand Sport Vitesse Drive...
- Volkswagen Launches China-Only New Lavida [Beijing...
- Jaguar/Land Rover Officially Launches Engineered t...
- Commercial Break: A Quick Example Of A Good “Gen Y...
-
▼
April
(760)
No comments:
Post a Comment