Click here to view the embedded video. It's a situation in which many an auto enthusiast has found himself: You go to an auto show, hoping to see the newest Krautwagen Alpha-Numerical-Alpha Extra Designation Denoting Actual Engine Size, and they have the car locked so you can't rub your hands and body all over the interior to find out if said interior contains any deadly spikes, sharp corners, or sub-par LCD screens. What do you do? For most normal people, the answer is suck it up and go live the rest of your life. For self-proclaimed "wealth manager" Joshua Smith, however, the answer was slightly different: he sat right down and wrote a letter. Little did he know that Audi was about to make him approximately as famous as Kevin Federline… (Warning: plenty of NSFW language to come)
What a shame that I wasn't in Johan's office that day, just hanging around and impersonating office staff. I would have written the following letter back:
Of course, Audi did no such thing. Instead, they sent him an apologetic letter and brought an RS5 to the guy's miniscule tract house, along with the complete lineup of S-cars: S6, S7, S8, and so on. Mr. Smith took perhaps the worst cameraphone video on record of the cars and commenced bragging about it everywhere his Internet would reach. When he was called out on the potential contrast between his vehicle choices and his modest home, Smith talked about being a "wealth manager" and claimed to own other homes as well before informing everyone that, in his wealth-managing opinion, an RS5 was a better investment than a home. You can find the whole thing on QuattroWorld. Speaking as someone who owned an S5 before Mr. Smith did, I'm depressed by the idea of being even remotely associated with someone who thinks like this. Why does everything in this world have to be "upscale" and "exclusive"? Isn't it just enough to be excited about a car and want to buy it? Do we all require special treatment, which then by definition won't be special anyway, in the year 2012? Audi did have the RS5 open for press days at the auto shows, so I can share with you the sacred knowledge about the RS5 which Mr. Smith was so eager to get: Inside, it's about the same as an S5. That's because IT'S THE SAME CAR. If Mr. Smith was hoping to find extra seats, a Mitsubishi "Twin Stick" transfer box, or Nicki Minaj inside, he was no doubt disappointed. If he was expecting to find different badges and trim, well then, THAT'S WHAT YOU GET. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm off to write a letter to Dan Auerbach complaining that my last download of a Black Keys record wasn't accompanied by a house concert and a chance to play the guitar part in "Thickfreakness". from The Truth About Cars http://www.thetruthaboutcars.com | |||
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Friday, March 2, 2012
Audi “Goes The Extra Mile” To Help A Man With Low Self-Esteem Win The Internet
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