The Most Entertaining Facts, Figures, and Boasts from the Bugatti Chiron Press Release

Monday, February 29, 2016

The Most Entertaining Facts, Figures, and Boasts from the Bugatti Chiron Press Release

There is nothing subtle about Bugatti's new Chiron hypercar. How could there be? It has a quad-turbocharged 16-cylinder engine, costs $2.6 million, and boasts a top speed of 261 mph. As you'd expect, the press release for the Chiron is as unsubtle as the car itself, which is wholly appropriate. Press releases for regular cars tend to be overly positive missives, grabbing at all available firsts, superlatives, and best-in-class features. For the Chiron, this posturing is taken to new levels, and Bugatti layers on the braggadocio thicker than Donald Trump in an insecure moment. The Chiron's press release is so quotable, in fact, that we couldn't resist dragging a few of its more jaw-dropping factoids and immodest bluster in front of you for fun:

"With the Chiron, Bugatti has made the best even better."

– As opposed to, you know, making the Chiron worse than the Veyron it replaces.

"The design of the Chiron combines significantly more "beast" with a very high level of 'beauty'."

– Didn't Disney make a movie about this?

"Electromagnetic compatibility comparable to that of a military vehicle."

– This boast isn't structured very well, but Bugatti is referring to the Chiron's level of protection against electromagnetic interference.

"More than 60,000 litres [2118 cubic feet] of air per minute are pumped through the engine."

– Like the Veyron, the Chiron gulps in a ton of air to feed its quad-turbocharged W-16 engine at full whack. Put another way, the Chiron's engine can ingest roughly half the interior volume of a 53-foot semi trailer in air per minute.

"The coolant pump is also a very high-performance unit. In one minute, it circulates 800 litres [211 gallons] of water through the entire engine."

– The Chiron's cooling system consists of two main circuits, one for the engine and another for the turbochargers' intercoolers. The engine's loop holds 9.7 gallons of coolant, all of which passes fully through the engine and three radiators once every three seconds.

"The total active surface of the six converters used for exhaust gas treatment is about 230,266 m², corresponding to the area of more than 30 soccer fields."

Translated from metric units, that's 2,478,563 square feet, or roughly the same area as 43 American football fields.

"It goes almost without saying that the Chiron has permanent four-wheel drive."

– If you didn't know the Chiron has permanent four-wheel drive, you're a dummy and a loser.

"If all the [carbon] fibres used in the monocoque were laid out end to end, they would stretch nine times the distance between the earth and the moon."

– To give you a more grounded idea of how many carbon fibers are utilized in the land-based Chiron's monocoque, if laid end to end, the fibers would wrap around the Earth over 86 times.

"Thanks to Bugatti's outstanding expertise in airbag design, it proved possible to develop an airbag that shoots through a carbon-fibre housing."

– Airbags deploy through hard housings in most vehicles, notably plastic dashboard, steering-wheel-hub, and seat covers that are designed with seams that break away in specific ways. It's impressive that Bugatti has figured out how to safely deploy an airbag through carbon fiber. (We do question the use of the verb "shoots" in this particular context, however, given that a large portion of the industry is currently ensnared in the Takata airbag scandal, which involves inflators that could shoot shrapnel at occupants.)

"Thanks to the new asymmetrical design, the brake caliper can dissipate an extraordinary amount of braking energy. It also looks like a small work of art."

– This story, by the way, is a small work of art.

" 'Safety first' remains Bugatti's motto."

– We weren't aware that this was Bugatti's motto.

"Ettore Bugatti, whose motto was 'nothing is too beautiful and nothing is too expensive,' would certainly have taken pleasure in this example of sheer craftmanship."

— We've heard that, for an undisclosed sum of money, Bugatti will offer customers bespoke motto consistency.

"And of course, all these [HVAC] systems continue to perform reliably even at speeds significantly over 400 km/h [249 mph]."

– Because what's the point of going 250–261 mph if you can't do so in air-conditioned comfort?

"Even in the case of the headlamps, Bugatti has not attempted to save high-quality materials, using carbon fibre for the light trims."

– Bugatti wouldn't dare risk an opportunity to add 'spensive stuff to its multimillion-dollar hypercar.

"Audio-system connoisseurs will appreciate the use of a one-carat diamond membrane in each of the four tweeters, delivering a crystal-clear sound."

– This isn't hyperbolic wordplay on Bugatti's part—the harder a speaker's membrane, the clearer and sharper its sound reproduction. Also, do your car's speakers feature diamonds? We didn't think so.

"It is almost unsurprising that the [Accuton audio] system can even be adjusted for different interior materials. It is even possible to take different types of leather into consideration."

— If you can detect the subtle differences in sound deflection off of varying types of leather, you should market your skills to Bugatti for obscene amounts of money, and then use that money to buy a Chiron.

"For the first time, it is possible to stow a suitcase with the size of a cabin trolley approved for air travel (44 litres) in the luggage space of a Bugatti."

— $2.6 million, and you can fit one whole carry-on bag in the Chiron? Now Bugatti's customers can finally give up commercial air travel altogether.

"The interaction of an aluminum trim strip of this size and shape and the carbon-fibre outer skin poses a special challenge, which Bugatti has mastered impressively. This detail alone already demonstrates Bugatti's ability to facilitate the impossible."

– Move over Mother Teresa, Bugatti will take over the miracles from here.

"The Bugatti oval is the only component of the Chiron that has not been subjected to the painstaking weight saving programme that is normal practice in the development of a super sports car. This part is allowed to be heavy. The eyecatcher, with a circumference of 26 cm, consists of solid 970 fine silver and enamel and has a total weight of 155 g, including 140 g of silver."

– From now on, we'll be excusing our beer guts with the line, "this part is allowed to be heavy."