2013 Nissan Altima Commercial: Dancing with the Cars [The Ad Section]

The number one unwritten rule in advertising is Get Noticed, so score one for ad agency TBWA\Chiat\Day for creating an automotive commercial that's definitely different. But, unfortunately, that one is all it scored. This bizarre spot opens on a highly stylized couple in their driveway, facing the garage. They don't need a car, because he's the car. She climbs aboard his back like an awkward toddler and holds her arms in the nine-and-three steering position, but as soon as they start to back up, he bucks her off. Wait—is he a car or a horse? I'm already confused. More befuddling is that, moments later, he's a football player, assuming a defensive guard's position to protect a kid on a skateboard from getting smooshed. For those of us who haven't earned a black belt in charades, the announcer provides a clue: "Moving object detection." The only detecting I detected was the guy looking over his shoulder, the same technology Karl Benz used on his 1886 Patent-Motorwagen. But if we're pretending the guy is a car, I guess that means whatever the spot is selling has motion sensors, like dozens of other cars on the market. Incident avoided, she's now off his back as they move down a neighborhood road, side by side, in what looks to me like a tribute to Monty Python's "The Ministry of Silly Walks." They keep this up until getting to the freeway, where a motorcycle bears down on them. (Didn't this guy get the tweet? There are crazy people on the 405! Stay away!) Since they're all alone out there I would think they could easily hear a rapidly approaching, fully wound café racer, but maybe they have their invisible windows rolled up. No worries, though, as the biker passes safely because the still-unnamed car/horse/lineman/comedian has blind-spot detection. Phew. Moments later we learn the man-car also has lane-departure warning, as evidenced by its stealthy evasion of a huge semi. As the 18-wheeler barrels past them, the vehi-dude demonstrates an additional, if unnamed feature: automatic truck mooning. Haul this, you big bully! Instrumented Test: 2013 Nissan Altima 3.5 V-6 SV Comparison Test: 2013 Nissan Altima vs. 2013 Fusion, 2013 Accord, 2012 Passat  Instrumented Test: 2013 Nissan Sentra SL 1.8 Whatever it is that's being advertised, the announcer says it has safety down to an art form, so I'm thinking maybe it's a Volvo. But no, the waning seconds of the spot reveal that we're being pitched the Nissan Altima. That's right, folks—the same car that touted its tire-inflation warning system by showing a guy squirting cologne down his trousers has now taken the high road with this artsy allegorical ditty that's sure to capture the desirable modern-dance enthusiast segment that all the mid-size sedans are battling for. I never saw it coming. Award-winning ad man-cum-auto journalist Don Klein knows a good (or bad) car commercial when he sees one; the Ad Section is his space to tell you what he thinks of the latest spots. The ad's rating is depicted via the shift pattern at the bottom, but everyone has an opinion when it comes to advertising, so hit Backfires below and tell us what you think, too. from Car and Driver Blog http://blog.caranddriver.com

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