Volkswagen’s Super Bowl XLVIII Commercial? It’s No Classic [The Ad Section]

Please be honest here: How many things in life do you care less about than if or when German engineers become angels? That's what I thought. Yet amazingly, VWOA thinks American car buyers will be so charmed by this idea that they're using it as the central theme of their all-important—and hyper-expensive—Big Game commercial.

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The spot opens on a tracking shot of a Passat cruising down a suburban street. No sooner do we cut to the interior than we see the odometer hit the 100,000-mile mark, despite the fact that the car itself looks brand-new. Eager to share this life experience with his preteen daughter, Dad calls it to her attention. Her sarcastic reply: "So?" Determined to build on this meager indication of willingness to engage in daddy/daughter conversation, he offers a thought-provoking question: "What if I told you that each time a Volkswagen hits 100,000 miles, a German engineer gets his wings?" We then cut to a series of vignettes in which serious-looking (visual code for German) guys in white coats are scrutinizing Volkswagens in an assembly plant or R&D facility. Every so often, one has wings pop out of his back and feathers fly around.

With few exceptions, they don't seem to like when this happens. (Maybe it's because you have to die to become an angel?) One even goes so far as to complain, "I hate deez ving-y ting-ies," as he hovers and flaps beneath the ceiling. Cute, nein? Well, the bratty girl doesn't seem to think so. "Yeah," she says snarkily, "and I'm sure that at 200,000 miles rainbows shoot out of their butts." (Wait—she did say, "shoot," right? Kind of hard to tell.) And then, of course, she goes back to her smartphone because BFFs trump fathers every time.

Anyway, all of this Sturm und Drang was created to make the point that Volkswagen has the most vehicles on the road with over 100,000 miles. If that "fact" surprises you, freeze the second to last frame and read the small print: It's based on global registrations in 49 countries. Oh.

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After cutting Audi and Jaguar some slack for making Super Bowl XLVIII commercials that are more entertaining than factual, I suppose I have to apply the same criteria to this spot, so here goes: The production values are pretty good, and if you're into Family Guy type humor (guilty, your honor!), you've got to appreciate the big wings/little wings bit at the urinal, as well as the Technicolor fart. The song is Beavis and Butthead–worthy ("They said doobie!"), so it's got that going for it. But coming from Volkswagen, the company that brought us arguably the best car commercial in Super Bowl history ("The Force"), I've got to say this spot doesn't have a prayer of going down in the record books. VW says "halo," I say "goodbye."

Award-winning ad man-cum-auto journalist Don Klein knows a good (or bad) car commercial when he sees one; the Ad Section is his space to tell you what he thinks of the latest spots. The ad's rating is depicted via the shift pattern at the bottom, but everyone has an opinion when it comes to advertising, so hit Backfires below and tell us what you think, too.

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