LeMons Detroit BS Inspections: Opel Breadvan, Fiat X1/9s, and Juggalos!

The cold, foggy Lake Michigan spring weather at GingerMan Raceway did not stay the LeMons Supreme Court from its appointed rounds, and we were rewarded with a fine assortment of (rusty) Midwestern iron. When you see a fully caged Ford Aspire at a race track, you can't help but wonder what the team could have been thinking. When you see the Mazda engine out of an Escort GT under the Aspire's hood… well, this swap probably seemed like a good idea at the time. The LeMons Supreme Court felt so sure that this car will be an ill-handling nightmare on the track that we assigned it to Class C, where it will be racing against the likes of Ford Tempos and Fiat X1/9s. This is the first time we've ever seen two X1/9s at the same LeMons race. Will the Aspire's psychotic power-to-weight ratio give it the edge over the sweet-handling but weak Fiats? We'll see tomorrow. Meanwhile, the Simca 1204 campaigned by Legend of LeMons Spank in West Coast events has resurfaced in the Midwest. We really need a Plymouth Cricket and early Dodge Colt to complete the early-70s Chrysler Badge-Engineering Trifecta. Team Euro Trash, veterans of multiple engine swaps in previous races, decided that adding an absurdly complex turbocharging setup, complete with roof-mounted exhaust, would enhance their Jetta's engine reliability. Sound reasoning here! The Dos Limons team took a similar approach to one of their pair of early Fiestas by installing a foursome of motorcycle carburetors on their ancient pushrod engine. What could possibly go wrong? The team themes and costumes weren't quite as extreme as the ones we see in California, but a few really stood out. The Skid Marks Racing Neon team, winners of two past Midwest Region races and the favorite starting this event, decided to take my advice and honor Midwestern culture by showing up with a Juggalo theme. Pourin' out some Faygo for the homies! Another race-winning team, Clueless Racing, showed up with a well-executed Yellow Submarine theme. When you have a rolled '06 Civic that was LeMons cheap because it got rolled, your best approach is to convert it to Charlie Sheen's Fiat 500 "Abarf." This car raced last year with third-gen Camaro body parts grafted on. We've seen quite a few Opel GTs in LeMons racing, mostly with goofy engine swaps. This GT has a not-so-goofy Ford 2300 out of a Ranger, but the Ferrari Breadvan body kit is what really puts it over the top. The taller-than-the-steering-wheel, Rat Fink–style Ranger shifter also helps contribute to this car's greatness. Class C! from Car and Driver Blog http://blog.caranddriver.com

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